On Not Tipping

I had a three-top come in yesterday and I worked really hard, as I always do, to ensure an enjoyable restaurant experience.  They were set on being ornery and surly.  I just kept doing my thing, and they didn't tip me.

Whatever.

I was having a decent night anyway, so I just let it go. Yes, I was somewhat disappointed; it's always unfortunate when people suck at life.  In this country, going out to eat and not tipping at all is stealing.  If you're doing that, you're receiving services and not paying anything in return.  You've paid for the food you ate, sure, but you did not pay to have it prepared, brought to you, negotiated properly from the kitchen, to have your table kept clear of extraneous dishes and your drinks filled, etc.  Effectively, serving becomes slave labor at that point.

When the table of unhappy people departed, I began busing that table and pre-bused my other two tables, who were in the middle of an enjoyable meal.  When I returned, Blaire, one of the bussers, had finished busing my table.  I thanked her and was about to go fetch some drink refills when she stopped me and handed me four dollars.

"It was hiding in the salt and pepper caddy."
"Oh, cool! Thanks!"
"Yeah, I figured I'd give it to you 'cause I found it.  Don't forget to tip out the bussers at the end of the night!"
"I never do."  I smiled and thanked her again and then continued on my merry way.
 I had that same feeling you get when you find money hiding in the couch cushion or under your car seat.  Yay! Money I didn't have before!

In the back of my mind, of course, I was considering what I'd just made.  Their check was $67.00.  They left me $4.00.  That is roughly a 6% tip. 
Six percent, before tipping out the bartenders and the bussers, is not enough to sustain me, people.  The system into which we enter our tip information at the end of the day for tax claim purposes even automatically low-balls an estimation at 10%; if we enter anything under 10% we need a manager's approval to ensure we aren't trying to claim less than we really made.  So to those of you who think ten percent is an excellent tip, please take that into consideration.  Nutshell: it's not.

Servers work very hard - even the bad ones, really - and we don't get compensated enough by the establishment for which we work because they expect you to tip us.  Not tipping a server at all is like saying, "I'm an ungrateful jerk and I want you to work for free and live on the street." 
By the way - we may have a catalog in the back of all the guests who don't tip, or have left less than seven percent for their servers.  So we know who you are, and you probably shouldn't come back. (I'm sure you can read between the lines.  If you can't, watch a movie or two.)
Or maybe we don't.
Or maybe we do...